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Rejection, basically, is a curse. It starts in infancy. Sometimes it starts before birth. It can be a family line curse that comes down on the family line from generation to generation. Sometimes, frequently the parents did not want the child and, we are spiritual beings, when people love us our soul recognizes it, when people don't want us our soul recognizes it. It is frequently not a conscious understanding, but it is a recognition that is in our soul, and it shapes our personality on a level that's beyond our consciousness. So, rejection is something that we experience when people close to us don't want us. You see, Santa Claus cannot reject me. The man that lives in the apartment two blocks down cannot reject me, who cares. The only one who can build rejection in you are the intimate relationships that God has placed in your life, and that's why infancy and even before infancy is such a crucial time for children because they are totally dependent upon their parents, and the world looks at this and they know that infants are totally dependent on their parents for food and shelter and to be made clean and to be kept warm, but what is not as obvious is that these physical children have a soul that is totally dependent upon their parents for spiritual food and that spiritual food is love. Love and acceptance in a manner that gives the child an opportunity to develop. Not a crushing love that we have talked about on other tapes. So, children need to be wanted and they need to be loved and we have a problem in this country today. The ability to mother children, the knowledge of how to do it is being lost. For a while some people thought that the mothering instinct is in a woman. This is not true. Women must be taught how to love their children. Fathers must be taught how to father their children and up until now men and women were not taught in school, many of us thought that it was an instinct that you are born with, but it is not, and the learning is not in the class room. The learning is in the family. We are supposed to be taught to mother, to father, to be a social human being, how to love one another, and how to live life and how to have healthy human relationships. We are supposed to be taught this in the family, and the family's being wrecked. A large percentage of families in this country are dysfunctional, and we have educated to a place where we have become fools. the family used to be a place where human needs were met, and everybody gathered into the family and drew close to one another both to have emotional needs met and to have physical needs met, they pulled together financially, they worked together on the farm if they were farmers, but now in our society our gratification largely is outside of the family.
So what happened, how did this happen? Some people will tell you it was the industrial revolution that women went out to work and that men started working outside of the household, but it is much more than that. I want to suggest to you that what's happening to the human race is that the human race is growing up, it is going from being a physical people to a spiritual people, it is already happening. What makes you a spiritual person? Where is spirit? It is in your mind. It means we are starting to use our minds more. A lot of people in this country are into education and so what's wrong with education? There is nothing wrong with education. I am just making an observation that when the human race in this country was physical and living in their flesh, farming and their whole life was caught up in the physical survival families were close, they were supportive, children were loved and wanted with rare exceptions, and healthy people came forth because the gratification and satisfaction was in the family, but what's happening now is that the family's turning outward. The individual is turning outward and their gratification and their self esteem and their affirmation is coming from intellectual achievement. Education, skills, accomplishments that are done outside of the family, now this might sound funny to you but in a farming family of 100 years ago it was a big accomplishment to have a prized hog. Everybody worked on the farm, you raised your hogs, you raised your cows, the women backed their pies. So what she did in the family and what the man did in the family got them acclaim also outside of the family, but the condition of modern society today is that all of this kind of stuff is going by the way side, everyone is interested in pursuing their intellect and getting jobs that move them to the other side of the country, and the family is no longer necessary in many areas. A lot of people are getting an education, they are getting jobs, they are moving away, they don't need the family for financial support, there is a lot of fornication everywhere, life is very free, they don't need their family for their emotional support.
I said all that to say this. Human beings have spiritual needs, and they have spiritual appetites which this highly intellectualized society largely ignores, and out of their ignorance destruction is upon us. We have women bearing children who are convinced all these children need is to have their diapers changed and to be warm and to be fed and to be taught academic subjects, and they are giving their children to anyone to take care of them during the day not understanding that human beings have spiritual needs.
In infancy and even pre-infancy the primary caretakers attitude toward their child can build either high self esteem or low self esteem right into the child in infancy. The child receives the attitude of the parent on a level that by passes the conscious mind, and it is a family line curse on two levels. First of all, it can come down, it could be built into the child and then the parent is rejecting because they were rejected. So the family line curse operates on two levels. On the way the parent relates to the child, and also it could come down in the form of a hormone or some condition of the brain. We have a lot of scientists today spending a lot of time to discover that such and such a disease is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, or a disease is caused by an extra chromosome and they find all of this information and it makes it sound like every problem of humanity is physical. Now, I want to suggest to you that anyone who believes that is naive, and that they don't know how curses work. Curses are spiritual, and when they touch the flesh of a human being they take physical form. So for someone to have a chemical imbalance in their brain that's causing some sort of compulsive behavior or whatever something had to cause the chemical imbalance, and what caused the chemical imbalance is a curse which is spiritual. This flesh responds to spiritual stimuli. So, rejection is one condition that is very serious. It comes down on two levels. It comes down in the physical person of the child, maybe it is a chemical imbalance, maybe it is a hormonal imbalance I don't know, but it is a curse. So the receiver for the curse is in the infant, and the two parent's, the intimate caretakers of this infant child implement the curse from the outside. Why? Because they are just doing what was done to them. Our society is in a lot of trouble because of our ignorance as to how we learn to mother and father and build self esteem in our children. As I mentioned earlier, thinking that this is a knowledge and an ability and a skill that every human being is born with has been a tragic error. It is not. It is a gift from God to know how to love your children and raise your children in a manner that's going to build self esteem and build walls of defense against rejection from the outside, and what's happening in our society today is that as parents reject their roles in each generation this knowledge and this skill is becoming lost, and once it is lost you try to get it back! I want to tell you that I know what I am talking about. All things are possible in Christ, but for God to take a woman whose heart has become hard because of what we have just been talking about, what she was born with plus the fact even more strongly that she wasn't properly mothered and fathered as a child, you take a woman who has a hard heart who doesn't love children, who doesn't have that ability to build God's best into those kids, who doesn't know how to love them without smothering them, you take a woman like that and you watch God give her a mothering heart, and He has to bring her almost to the point of death to do it. He has got to tear down that hard heart, rip her to pieces, put her through all kinds of pain and rebuild her. I know what I am talking about. So as this country, as our society, as our women, lose their ability to mother we are reaching a point in the individual, God works with the individual where He is literally wrecking the lives of people to build this back into them again, and it is not happening in one generation. He will be wrecking the lives of men to teach them how to be fathers and loving responsible husbands. To teach them how to rule in their families with love and mercy and compassion and without abuse but with strength. There is going to be terrible, terrible, terrible pain upon our society to rebuild what is largely lost in most families, it is at least gone in part, to get us back to a patriarchal system that is rooted in Christ. I know the feminist hate patriarchy. That's a family system where the man is the head. Feminist hate it, but when that man is under Christ, it is a good thing, and it is not going to be easy to get it back. There is going to be pain and torment, and all forms of judgement because we didn't lose a natural instinct. We lost what was a gift. We were so ignorant we didn't know it was a gift. We thought that it was ours inherently. Do you know what that means? We thought that we were just born with it. Being this wonderful fallen race that this was just one of the wonderful things that was within us, that we knew how to love our kids, we knew how to raise them that they would be strong inside, that their minds would be strong, and strong in their emotions, and strong in life. We thought that this ability came from within us, and as we lost it we are finding out that it didn't come from within us. It was a gift of God, and now you try and get it back.
So, rejection is a malfunctioning relationship. It is the result of a malfunctioning relationship between parents and infant child. I've been telling you that the carnal mind has spiritual power. Mothers and fathers who have lost their parental skills and it happens over a series of generations, you can't blame anyone person, in each generation it gets worse and worse until finally you see a family that's not functioning at all. The living soul, the carnal mind, has spiritual power and where a man has a natural authority over a person, that spiritual power is at least two fold, if not more than that. Natural authority is very powerful so a parent has a lot of power over his children. He has a natural authority that is God ordained, and he has a spiritual authority because the child is totally dependent upon him, and if that mother and father, if those two people are damaged themselves or in a chain of descending dysfunction in the family that spiritual power that's in them naturally plus that authority that's given by God is going to be used in a negative way, and instead of building the child up making them strong in their emotions, strong in their minds, self confident with strong self esteem, merely by the way they relate to them they will do the exact opposite to them. They will build a weak mind, weak emotions, lack of discipline and self confidence and poor self esteem, and it is in there from the earliest days of your birth, and not only is rejection built in you from your own family but it goes with a whole series of other similar qualities one of which is fear of rejection which means that without realizing it someone who h as had this experience is so rejected that they expect everybody to reject them, and they act sometimes in hostile or obnoxious ways that would encourage other people to reject them. Some of the host obnoxious people that you could meet are people that are severely rejected people so one would say to themselves, well why don't they just stop doing that, why don't they stop doing that thing that's making me reject you? They probably don't even know that they are doing it, and if they knew that they were doing it they probably cannot stop, and that is a part of the curse.
To have friends one must show oneself friendly. To be accepted by people one must be accepting of people. The people who have the most friends and acquaintances and the richest lives are people who are giving people, people who will befriend you, people who will give to you, people who will love you whether you do those things to them or not. So, rejection from other people frequently is a response to something operating in your own heart, most likely fear of rejection which makes you unfriendly. . . .if you have a pattern of rejection from other people in your life there is an excellent chance that there is something operating in you that is encouraging them, that is seducing them to reject you, and frequently one of those patterns is fear of rejection which makes you unfriendly, cold, sometimes hurtful, sometimes controlling, sometimes manipulative, sometimes just plain offensive. The most obnoxious people you would hope to meet are desperate for your fellowship, but their soul, their personality has been built in a wrong structure. They do the wrong things because they think wrong and trying to change somebody's thinking is one tough job.
To overcome rejection by the grace of God, you first need to understand what it is about, you need to understand that if people are rejecting you, if there is any kind of pattern at all, that there must be something that you are doing, there must be some way that you acting that's discouraging people from befriending you. It has to be. So, if you can receive that the next step is to ask the Lord what it is that you are doing or what it is that you are not doing, what it is about how you are thinking that's either encouraging people to reject you or attracting you or bringing you around people who themselves are obnoxious who will just be rejecting you. So, it is one of two ways. Either you are doing something that's turning people off or you are being attracted to people who are just going to reject you because they've got a problem, but which ever way you look at it, it is something operating in you that's causing you or that diverting from having relationships with people who would accept you. There are lots of people....it is very common in high schools, a lot of people, even adults that they want to be in with the in crowd, they want to be the most popular people and sometimes they are just never accepted, and they are just miserable for their whole life, but the answer is not to want to be in with the in people, but you just genuinely want friends, and if you just ask the Lord, and He may not answer right away, it could take a couple of years, that depends on what He is working in your heart, but the answer is to just genuinely want people in your life, you just genuinely want fellowship and be willing to take who ever God sends to you and your life will be overflowing. It could take a while, but your life could be overflowing with people if you are willing to take who ever He sends to you, and I remind you that the scripture says, when you make a feast don't be so concerned about inviting dignitaries, but invite the homeless, and invite the afflicted, you will never have an empty house, you will never be alone, you will never be without rewarding relationships if you are willing to give out as your primary characteristic. We have a tendency to say, I'm lonely and I need and I need and I need, we tend to find ourselves alone, but if you are willing to pour out of yourself you will never be alone, you will never be alone. Once this thing gets in motion, now you could have some lonely moments, but once God gets you where He wants you there is so much work to be done in this world you will never be alone if you are willing to take the lame and the afflicted, and the people that Jesus loves and the people that the Lord wants to help, you will never be alone.
So, rejection comes from being wounded by the people who were supposed to be taking care of you. That's the root of it. The people who you are supposed to be trusting, who are supposed to be meeting your needs, and are hurting you produce rejection in you. Rejection, fear, low self esteem is really a result of abuse, but some abuse would not be considered abuse by the world. Some parents keep that baby clean as could be, the child has its own room with every expensive thing you can imagine in it and some people just have very selfish mothers and care about themselves more than the child. Well, that is communicated to the child's soul and it tears down their soul. Being a mother is a sacrificial life style. By definition, a mother is one who lays down their life to give life to their child. It starts out in you body, you give of your own substance, you are incapacitated for at least for some period of time, if you are the most healthy woman going in your ninth month you've got to be incapacitated with that big belly, and then you've got to be down for at least a little bit after you give birth although I know in some of the third world nations the women work in the fields up until the last minute and then they, I'm gold in China they drop their babies and then they go right out into the fields, but it has to be some distress on you, and you are giving of your substance to bring this child into the world, and then when they are born I believe that God says we are to lay down our life for this child. What does that mean? It means that child has to be your primary concern, affecting every decision that you make. Every decision that you make you would have to make considering that that child is there, considering what is best for that child, and in our society today we see many women making decisions based on what is best for them, and this selfishness on the part of the mother builds rejection and low self esteem and destruction into the child. Somehow it registers in the child's soul that nobody is putting them first. A child needs to be raised in an atmosphere where they know that they are the most important thing with certain Godly exceptions. Let me qualify this, I don't want to mislead anybody. In a family, that child needs to know that mother is there for them, they are to talk to them, there when the come home from school, there to help them when they skin their knee, there to listen to their problems. They need to know that they are more important than her cleaning the house or that they are more important than her job, they need to know that. On the other hand, they need to know that their father is very important in that household, and they need to know that, excepting a crisis situation, when daddy comes home mommy must minister to daddy. This is all in a Godly parameter. It is healthy for them to know that there is a father in the house that is respected and who has authority and who mommy ministers to, that's o.k, but when that job becomes more important then that is destructive to the child. Children need to know that they are important. It builds life into the child, builds strength into them, and eventually they grow up and they can live their own life. Motherhood is a sacrificial lifestyle where you die to your own needs, and you live for your children and you live to build this family life which is going to produce healthy adults. The family is breaking down in our society and our kids are splattered all over the streets.
That's what causes the rejection. It is the failure of the parents to die for their children in a Godly way. Now we also have a phenomenon in this society where parents die for their children in an ungodly way. They make their children a form of their satisfaction. It looks on the surface like these parents are giving up everything for this child, but the spiritual reality is that they are not dying that this child might live, but they are using this child to satisfy their own needs. So it looks on the surface like they are dying for the child, but we know the truth when we see the fruit. We know the fruit when we see the condition of the children and not the children at eight of nine years old but the adult children. Someone once said, you know how successful you are in life when you see your grandchildren prospering. We all struggle with our kids, but look at your children's marriages, look at your grandchildren, look at the third generation and you will know, you can give yourself a grade. Children don't grow up by being kept clean and being given academic studies. They need that relationship, they need to be important, they need to be talked to, they need to be listened to, they need to be disciplined in love, and we can even say they need the nature of their parents being engraved in them, not in an ungodly way, they need the values of their parents, they need the love and acceptance of their parents so that they can develop themselves properly.
Let me review. Rejection comes in at infancy, it is a failure at parental. If an adult or someone old enough to understand this message finds themselves rejected by a lot of people then the scriptural counsel to you is to forgive and to love and to ask God if you are doing anything that's offensive. Now if you have pride you might be taking an attitude of "that's the way I am." Well, you can take that attitude if you want but you will continue to be rejected. Now the whole world knows that if you are doing something offensive and you want to be in a group social situation you are going to have to do something to curtail it. If you have some kind of physical problem that is causing another person distress you can say "that's the way I am" and that's your choice but they might go away. You have to know that if you say "that's the way I am" that's your choice to say that, but you have to know that the person that you are saying it to has a choice also, and they might stay or they might go away. So set your goals. Ask yourself what you are trying to accomplish? Do you want that person's friendship? Are you willing to meet them half way? If you have a habit that's offensive. If your habit is not physical, if your habit is in your personality, if you are a poor listener, well are you willing to try to start to listen, are you willing to ask God to help you to give the other person a chance to talk? You have to work on yourself, and that's how you break rejection. It depends on why you are being rejected. If you are being rejected because you are being offensive in some way then that's where you start, finding out what your problem is and asking God to help you. If you are being rejected because you are shy, sometimes when you are shy people think you are not friendly. Sometimes you might want to go to the person and ask why they are rejecting you as God leads you. You've got to find out why people are rejecting you. You have to find out what you are contributing to it, and then the other side of the problem is maybe you just need to extend yourself, maybe you just need to show yourself friendly and kind and considerate. Maybe you need to start giving a little more. How can I help you, what can I do for you?
God taught me that if you want to have people in your life you have to be a giver, a giver of yourself, not a giver of money, not a giver of favors, but a giver of your own heart because if you give people will respond to you. Didn't Jesus say that if you give it shall be given unto you? So rejection is definitely a problem that can be overcome. The very last aspect of a deliverance from rejection is the casting out of a demon. That is the last thing. You can be praying for deliverance from that thing for years and the last thing that happens is that the demon comes out after you do everything else that I just talked about. When you overcome it, it no longer has any dominion over you. Jesus will cast it out. It has got to be resisted. Now rejection is a very vicious spirit. It has hidden aspects to it. Rejection in most people is unconscious justification for all forms of sin such as pride, hatred, retaliation, and vengeance. How dare they reject me? Sometimes it is conscious, sometimes it is unconscious, sometimes people appear to be very angry and abusive and the root spirit is rejection. The whole thing is you have to ask the Lord to show you your sins. If you find yourself being abusive or thinking ungodly thoughts toward people you need to ask the Lord, "why do I feel that way?" And He will begin to show you that you invited someone somewhere and they said that they couldn't go and all of a sudden you are really angry at them, looking at all of their weaknesses and exposing them and hating them for it. Well, it may look like the problem is hatred, it may look like the problem is vengeance but the real culprit is rejection. You have to know yourself. If you don't see your own heart you cannot deal with these things. The bottom line is you have got to look into your heart and Jesus has to give you an ability to see what's in your real inner heart, not what's in your image that everybody sees, but in your real inner motives so that you can begin to deal with them because I want to tell you, you are not about to get delivered from rejection by casting a single demon out. You've got to look at what's happening in your soul. Now God can help you along the way. He can cast out a spirit of anger that will help you to look at your soul. He can cast out a spirit of alcoholism. He can do all those things and He does, but He's got a much deeper work for you and in this hour as the church moves forward and as our heart is converted we are going to see less and less old order deliverance and let me put this on this tape. Old order deliverance is the result of a spurt of spiritual power coming from a minister upon an afflicted person giving them relief from a problem. New order deliverance comes from the Christ within the person. Old order deliverance may or may not in my opinion, I can't say definitely not but in my opinion most of the time will not be transmitted along the family line because if you have an alcohol problem and God delivers you from the alcohol problem but He hasn't dealt with the personality defects underneath it when you have children I believe there is a good chance that that curse may not be broken, but when God delivers you from alcohol or from rejection or from any major problem by the Christ within you, when He does it by forming the Christ within you, when He delivers you because He gives you a new heart that is a deliverance that will be passed down on your family line. Old order deliverance comes from the power of someone outside of you. It is an act of the mercy of God to a man in whom Christ is not being formed. New order deliverance comes from the Christ which is being formed within you, and it takes much longer to get delivered from the Christ being formed in you than to walk into a church and have someone slap you on the head and case the demon out which happens, but it doesn't change your heart. It gives you relief from a symptom. Old order deliverance is relief from a symptom that is bringing destruction in your life. New order deliverance gives you a new heart that heals you on a level that would make it impossible for that symptom to ever return. He heals you on a level that will break curses on your family line that will put you in a condition where this will not be transmitted to your children. It can even reach out and touch other members of your immediate family when it is Christ is being formed in you because the power is in you, but in the condition that the church is in today it seems to be taking longer to get new order deliverance because the Lord has to work it into you. I don't think it will always be that way, but that's the way it is now. I believe in old order deliverance, I believe in any form of deliverance that the Lord Jesus Christ tells me to do at any given moment, and if He never tells me to do old order deliverance again, but my brother in the ministry down the street is casting out demons every night that is fine with me, and it is good and I bless him and I pray that God helps him and keeps him in the ministry that He has given him. I believe in old order deliverance. I believe that God will minister to every individual according to their need. It is just like you come into an emergency room in a hospital and there is something wrong with you, it is possible that there is two or three different forms of medical ministry to you, and the physician has to decide how he is going to treat you. Well, when someone comes to Jesus the Lord makes a judgment as to how He is going to great that person, and if it is His judgment to have a demon cast out and He wants to use me I will be glad to do it, but I have no power to do it if He is not doing it through me. I am His servant, I will do anything He anoints me to do. I bless everyone in every area of the church world, and I bless every ministry that God has raised up and everything that they are doing in Christ. I am not against or for any form of ministry. I just do what God tells me to do. But I tell you the truth, old order is an emergency room method, and when you have a demon cast out of you there is always the possibility that it could regenerate, there is a possibility, but when it is cast out from the Christ within you there is virtually no possibility at all because when Christ within you casts it out that means Christ increases and fills in the area that was cast out. Christ is continuously increasing in you taking over all of your land. So new order deliverance in many ways is desirable. Old order deliverance is an emergency tactic, it is faster, it is immediate relief, and it is also ministry to the man in whom Christ is not being formed. Christ is not being formed in everybody so God knows that He's doing. He's the doctor, He's the diagnostician, and He decided how you will be treated so let us Brethren have an open mind and let us not believe that there is only one treatment for everybody and let us not hinder the Lord's desire to be creative and minister to everyone as He would.
Success in God is to be doing what He has called you to do, and great success is to be where He wants you, to be doing what He has called you to do, and to be content is great success, very great success.